Oh wait, I have something!
The other day, maybe in February, it had snowed and the ice under had been covered. There was no way to see the ice. As I was walking to work I slipped on the ice, my phone and iPod flew high and then hit the ground as I hit the ground too. It was on campus. I was a little embarrassed I have to admit. I picked my phone and iPod and kept walking, snow all over my back and I knew some people were gazing at me. I kept walking.
A block away or two from my falling, the thought that came to mind brought me back to my first winter in Minnesota (years ago!). I remember that during the first snow flakes falling my mom would say it would look really pretty outside and that I was going to love it here. It was really cold I remember, but I was this rebel kid who would pretend it was not cold and did not wear a sweater until like December, when it was below zero. My family would always say something about that.... Though, besides saying that it would be pretty outside once it really snowed, my mom warned me to not fall. Because if I fell, that would mean that I would not leave the U.S. for at least 7 years. "7 years?! I don't want to be here 7 years!" I would say and think to myself.
It did not take long for me to fall. If I remember correctly, I fell going to school. I got up and pretended like nothing happened (yeah talk about repressing feelings). Later that day I admitted to my family that I had in fact fallen, but that I did not want to stay here 7 years! I wanted to see my siblings and friends back where I was born, and I wanted to be where I spoke the language and I wanted to go to a school where people spoke my language and I wanted to not stay here for 7 years!
My cousin laughed and said he had fallen his first winter and he is still here. Then my mom told a story about when she fell. My aunt then described here odyssey falling by a moving car.... She laughs about it now! Then everyone is talking about falling and how it happened to them. Then they told me to not be pretentious. Fine, I said.
And I am still here. It has been more than 7 years. I still want to see the rest of my family I haven't been able to see for so long! There are even new members and I would really like to meet them! Phone calls, I hate the phone calls. I want to see them! I am not sure 'friends' are still there. I lost touch with everyone. One of my relatives always talks about seeing this person or that person, and sometimes I don't even remember who they are. I long for the day I get to see them.
I know that I am not leaving soon either. I know I just fell this year, which means 7 more years (supposedly). But the reality is that I live here, my family is here, my friends are here, my schooling is and will be here, and in reality, everything I really know is here. I grew up here. I want to stay here. I would like to visit where I came from, but I believe this to be my home today. I don't want to start all over again.
I do yearn for the day to be able to come out of the shadows. I hope it does not take a falling every 7 years during winter then so that I get to stay here. MN is my home state, and I love it here!
Woow it's sounds something that happens to me my first year in minnesota too, I read all that you wrote and all the memories come to my mind again. I fell too way to school when I tried to catch it, but I fell down closed to the stairs outside of the apartments where I used to live. I have a question? it will be something that every one happens way to school or it's just concidence I don't really know but it's curious lol
ReplyDeleteHedgiee sosa Facebook account